


All the king’s horses and all the king's men

by Cail_Jei



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: At least he tries in this one, Gen, Odin (Marvel)'s C- Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cail_Jei/pseuds/Cail_Jei
Summary: Odin tries to reconnect with Loki. Of course Loki doesn't exactly know that.
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Rebuild A Bridge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/639321) by [alwaysimagined](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysimagined/pseuds/alwaysimagined). 



> Hey everyone :-)
> 
> This fic is set in a nebulous time after the Avengers, where Loki somehow is in Earth doing his usual supervillain things.

Sitting on the chair behind the desk, inside his private study, Odin Allfather looked at the stack of papers he had to review and sighed. This tedious task was clearly failing to distract from his dark thoughts and his mind wandered. Thor’s homecoming from Midgard was today and a feast would be held in his honour, but that was not what darkened the king’s thoughts. His second son’s name day was approaching, and he found it impossible to avoid thinking about him. Loki was currently on Midgard, occasionally wreaking havoc upon the mortal world only to be stopped by the Avengers. Odin did not like to dwell on his failings as a father, especially since the only feelings they evoked were guilt and helplessness. _The past is beyond my control,_ he often told himself. It seemed as if all of Asgard was pretending that it only ever had one prince, with the exceptions of his wife and firstborn son, but he could not bring himself to forget. He missed his son, his brilliant, bright-eyed boy. He had grown old and weary, he just wanted his family to be united again. It was more than possible he made some mistakes in raising his children. He was not a perfect father, he was distant and he lacked Frigga’s warmer and more affectionate side. But the slights for which he is accused by Loki can’t be real, can they? He loved both his sons equally, didn’t he? If he ever showed any favouritism towards Thor it was because he was to be king and needed more attention in order to overcome some crucial flaws in his personality. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers on his temples. He could feel a headache slowly building behind his eyes, as he tried in vain to concentrate on the dull reports. _That’s enough for today_ , he thought and got up. Thor was bound to arrive soon and he didn’t want to miss him. 

Odin headed towards the stables. When he got there his favourite horse, Sleipnir, was already saddled. Taking a scenic route he hadn’t used for years he rode Sleipnir to the Bifrost. There he was greeted by Heimdall. The gatekeeper was almost always silent and thus he only had his thoughts for company. That was often the case, as of late. He had arrived early, as he should, if he wanted to see Thor before he was surrounded by his friends in the feast.

Thor’s arrival was signaled by the colourful light of the Bifrost. Odin closed his eyes for a second, momentarily blinded by the brilliant light. When he opened them, Thor stood there with his red cape swirling and a big smile , if somewhat dimmed in comparrison with his unburdened old bright smiles, on his face. 

“How were you faring my son in your long months of absence in a world far away from your home?” said Odin.

Thor chuckled. “I missed you too father. I am well!” he answered, his voice echoing in the golden dome. 

Thor looked ready to ask a question, probably about how his mother or friends fared in his absence but Odin interrupted before he had time to voice it. “I’m glad to hear it. Now before we go to the feast I would hear your report about Midgard” he hesitated for a moment before adding “and about Loki.” 

The bright demeanour was gone at once, and Thor’s face darkened. “My brother has not appeared in months. He either plans something of epic proportions or…” he trailed off. “I hope he is well. But father, I can’t reach him, I don’t know how! Every time we battle, I try to reach out to him and he shuts me down! It feels like I don’t even know him anymore. Like he is a stranger to me. We have to put an end to his wicked deeds! I don’t want to hurt him, I really don’t, but I don’t know how else to stop him! And when he disappears to Norns know were, to lick his wounds, I don’t know if I am grateful for he at least isn’t hurting anyone or if I am anxious because I don’t know if he’s well or not”, he pauses, taking a long breath to compose himself, “And as of Midgard… It is safe as long as my shield-brothers and shield-sister guard it.” 

Odin was taken aback by Thor’s reaction. He knew the boy was troubled about his brother, but he hadn’t imagine to what extend. “We will find a solution Thor. With time and patience.” _But enough time has passed and no solution have been found yet. Perhaps a different approach is needed_. “For now let us go to the feast, your mother and friends are waiting.” 

Thor’s return was as grand of an affair as expected. From the moment they arrived at the palace Thor was surrounded by Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, asking for tales of his midgardian exploits. Odin sat down at the feast by his wife’s side but as the music played and his son started his storytelling, his mind drifted away. Six months were a long time. What if something had happened? Loki had made enemies with various malicious entities in his time on Midgard. What if someone had hurt him or even worse… No he wouldn’t think about it. He had to find a way to bring Loki back. For the good of the realms and for his family. When it was appropriate, after the tales of Thor’s glorious feats were over and the revelries began to die down, he excused himself and through the dark hallways he returned to his private study. 

His younger son was a powerful sorcerer and his ability to shroud himself from Heimdall’s gaze proved that. But even he cannot shield himself from every scrying spell known. He just had to find a spell potent enough. After some researching through dusty, ancient tomes, which he had last review in the long lost days of his youth, he found what he was looking for. A scrying spell that its only noteworthy ingrediant was a lock of hair from the individual that was being tracked. Frigga had kept one from a time when Loki had fell severely ill one summer centuries ago, when they feared losing him. Of course persuading her to part from the only keepsake she has of her beloved son was not going to be easy. Their relationship has been strained ever since Loki fell from the Bifrost that fateful day. _Not fell, let go_ his guilty consience reminded him. He had to wait until tommorow for this not so auspicious confrontation. He collected the rest of the ingrediants, which mostly consisted of dried plants, colourful powders – they looked beautiful until you paused to consider what they were made of – and a liquid metal called mercury, and then he returned to his chambers where he fell to an uneasy sleep. 

~ 

He woke up feeling like he hadn’t slept at all. Later he found himself sitting in the table breaking fast with his wife although they barely spoke to one another. He deliberated on what way to break the silence. The first thing that came to mind was the scrying spell. 

“The lock of Loki’s hair. May I have it? ” _smoothly done, Odin_. 

Frigga’s eyes snapped into his, her brow creased in confusion. “What are you planning to do, husband?” 

“There is a scrying spell-” 

“That, I know. Suppose you find him, then what?” 

“I bring him home.” 

Frigga’s eyebrows rose. “And how do you hope to achieve that? I highly doubt he will come of his own free will.”

“l… I haven’t figure out that part yet.”

If possible her eyebrows rose even higher. “ _Husband mine_ , the problem we deal with is not so easily solved. We not only have to find a way to bring him home, but we also have to find a way to make him recognize that this is his home. Or else he won’t stay here for long.” 

“Acknowledging the error of his ways and turning over a new leaf was never expected to be an easy task.” Odin muttered under his breath. 

His wife sighed. “I wish you were wrong on that account.” She looked down at her unfinished plate. “ You can have the lock. Once you use it there won’t be any left. Don’t waste this one chance to do right by Loki. ” 

He allowed himself a tiny smile of relief. “Thank you, Frigga. I promise you won’t regret this.”

“I better not.” she warned, her expression turning stern. 

~

He gave himself another day, in order to take care the most urgent affairs of the realm. Then he performed the scrying spell. He cut the ingrediants and tossed them into the basin. Then he stirred them with a wooden spoon. At last he placed gently the dark lock of hair in the opaque mixture. The lock dissipated in white light and the surface rippled. The liquid turned silver like a mirror, but instead of reflecting its surrounding objects it showed images of faraway places. It confirmed Odin’s suspicion that his son’s location was, despite his long absence, on Midgard. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. Loki was not the only mage – although admittedly, he was one of the very few –with knowledge of how to worldwalk, to sense and follow the branches of the Yggdrasil, the flows of magical energy that bind the worlds together. And yet it was known by all that travel between the realms, especially without using the Bifrost, was a dangerous thing. But before he traveled to Midgard he must look the part. Calling upon his seidr, he adopted a mortal disguise, one of an old man, hoping that way he wouldn’t draw attention to himself. Then he traversed the terrifying void between worlds. 

When he emerged, he was alone in an empty, small and dirty alley. He had located Loki not far from here, but to find his exact position was tricky. Odin hoped that he would find Loki in his dwelling. Then perhaps his son would feel safer and would be less defensive. Maybe the time that had passed between the attacks was a good thing. Maybe it meant that hopefully Loki had at least somewhat let go his rage and bitterness. As naive as this thought may be, Odin willed himself to believe it. 

Lost in his thoughts, Odin didn’t even notice that he had ended up in a crowded street. He certainly didn’t anticipate crashing into some random stranger and falling to the ground. Or at least that’s what he thought. Then he heard his voice and it wasn’t a stranger’s voice at all. 

“Oh dear! I am terribly sorry!” 

Odin looked up until his eyes met the emerald green of his son’s eyes. There was a smile on his face that didn’t reach his eyes. Though he was dressed impeccably, his ebony hair seemed in need of trimming and his eyes had lost some of their shine. Odin was momentarily struck dumb. He didn’t know how to respond. He took a deep breath and gathered his wits. It was time. He should shed this guise and face his son. But he could not. As soon as he did there was no way to predict how Loki would react. He could attack him. He could spit his hateful, venomous words about imagined or real slights. Even worse he could disappear, this time for good. 

“It is all right, young man.” He held his hand out. Loki looked at it almost in disdain, though it was difficult to read any kind of emotion in his blank expression. But despite his reaction, he took his hand and helped him up. “Thank you!” Odin said. His son eyed him curiously. It was then that he noticed that they were standing outside of the entrance of an apartment building. An idea sprang in his mind. “Do you live here?” he said, gesturing towards the building. 

Loki’s eyebrows shot up. “Yes.” he replied. 

“That’s wonderful! I just moved in here and I look forward to meeting my new neighbours!” _Now I only have to find a place to rend here._

Loki’s eyes narrowed and he regarded him with suspicion. “Then you clearly have not been in this city for long. I am Lucas. And you are?” 

Odin extended his hand. “My name is Oscar Lundt. And I am pleased to meet you. ” He tried wearing his warmest smile, trying to think which approach would prove more efficient. 

Loki took his hand coldly and shook it. “You too. ” 

“So I will see you soon, friend.”

Loki looked like he barely refrained from rolling his eyes. “We will see, friend.” He did not miss the sarcasm that was just audible in his son’s voice.

Overall his first contact with his youngest went better than he expected. Granded, that’s almost certainly due to the fact that he never revealed himself. But that gives him the chance to try again. Perhaps Oscar will succeed where Odin failed.


	2. Chapter 2

He had returned to Asgard for a few days before he finally found the courage to face Frigga.

“So you lied to him. Again. Do you remember how he reacted the last time he discovered the truth?” Frigga’s voice was calm, but her lips were tightly pressed together.

“It’s not the same. We lied to him for almost a thousant years about who he is. It was for his own-”

“We?” she whispered. Then her voice rose “I never wanted to lie to him in the first place! How dare you accuse me-”

“That is not what I mean!” He yelled. There was a brief pause. When he spoke next he tried to lower his voice. “What I am trying to say is that the situations are completely different! Mistakes were made in the past, but if he knew who I was he would flee!”

“That is a short-term solution. What are you going to do when he realises what is going on?”

“I don’t know yet.” He took a deep breath. “But that is not the most pressing issue. I found an apartment to rend in the same building as his. It will give me the opportunity to meet him again.”

“Alright.” She seemed calm and under control again. “But know that getting to meet him while pretending to be someone else is not the right way to rebuild a familial relationship with him.”

_I know,_ he thought _. But what else can I do._ Aloud he said: “It is just a temporary measure. I’ll tell him the truth soon enough.”

~

Odin paced nervously around the small apartment he had purchased a few days ago. He had traced the residual magical energy from the teleportation spell Loki frequently used in order to find out which apartment belonged to his son. His mind was racing, as he was thinking over and over what he was going to say, always discarding his previous ideas as foolish. Then he wore the guise of Oscar and mustered the courage to go to his son’s door and knock.

The door opened. Loki stood there dressed casually, in a green shirt and black trousers, in sharp contrast to the black suit he wore last time Odin saw him.

Odin smiled as friendly as he could. He had to look like a meek mortal after all, weak and unthreatening, to gain his son’s trust. “Lucas! I am so fortunate that you are the first neighbour I happened upon!”

Loki eyed him sceptically. His face was clearly visible, though the gold chain that kept the door half-closed resulted in obscuring most of his body and his room.

“I’ve started meeting my new neighbours!” Odin continued. “Would you like to come to my apartment for dinner on Friday? In order to get to know each other better?”

“Sorry but I am very busy on Friday.”

“What about Saturday or Sunday?”

“I am busy then as well. In fact I am busy throughout the week.”

Loki was obviously trying to avoid him like the plague. Surely in the isolated life his son now led he must have need for a friend. Odin tried to think of anything to say that would persuade his stubborn son to accept his proposal. “How about I bring dinner here then? When you are taking a break from your work?”

Loki didn’t look convinced. “I just want to thank the kind young man who helped me.” he almost begged. Loki’s gaze softened somewhat. _I must have looked truly pathetic_.

“Fine. You can come over at seven o’ clock Friday. Just be here on time, will you?”

Odin didn’t even have to fake his smile of relief. “That’s great! I’ll see you at Friday then, friend!”

Loki nodded solemnly and shut the door. Even though they had barely spoke a word or two, the situation only served to remind him how much he had missed his youngest.

~

Odin was anxious about the next meeting with his son. He knew he should be concentrating on whatever his advisors were prattling about, but he found himself unable to focus. His mind was intent on finding a way to approach Loki. On finding a course of action that would make himself appear useful to his son’s eyes. Otherwise, he had no idea how he would establish a friendly acquaintanceship with Loki, since clearly being his neighbour is not enough. A thought slowly formed in the back of his head. None understanded Loki like Frigga did.

The voices on the backround of his thoughts rose. His advisors continued vying for his attention like needy children. They reminded him of two little boys, one with gold hair and one with black, holding onto his hands, talking about their day, trying to get their father to pay attention-

An unusually loud voice interrupted his musings. “Your Majesty! What should we do about the exports to Vanaheim?”

Odin hadn’t payed attention to anything that had been said before that. “I shall study the matter closely and and present my decision at the next counsil meeting. You are dismissed. ” He stood up and his advisors followed suit.

Afterwards, Odin sought Frigga’s sage advice. Pacing quickly, he reached her quarters before the sun hid beneath the mountains. Instead of barging in like he wanted to, he impatiently knocked on the door.

“You may enter. ”

Odin opened the heavy wooden doors. His wife was sitting at the vanity, brushing her golden hair. She raised her eyes and stared at him through the mirror. “Frigga, we need to talk.”

A frown flickered on her face. “What is the matter, husband?”

Odin sat down on her bed. She turned to face him. He began describing everything that took place from the moment he knocked on his son’s door to the moment their conversation ended. “You know him best. How should I approach him?” he asked, after he had concluded the story.

“When you visit him, you should be careful. He was always distrusful by nature, he always regarded everything around him with suspicion. Don’t pry for information. If he wants to tell you something he will in his own time. If you attempt to press him, he will push back.” She paused for breath. “You have to somehow catch his attention without making yourself seem suspicious.”

Odin considered her words. They weren’t that far of from his own thoughts on the matter.

“One more thing. I have to make up a plausible story about myself. Do you have any ideas?”

“I’m sure we can come up with something.” she uttered, the smile in her face turning conspiratorial.

~

The waiting for this scheduled dinner had been excruciating. The minutes ticked by slowly, seemingly streching into a small eternity. Anticipation tied his stomach in a knot. When the time for the dinner finally arrived, Odin knocked at his son’s door. He stood outside, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other and holding a paper bag that contained mushroom soup, one of Loki’s favourite meals. He had asked the cook of the palace to prepare it simply, without all of the usual spices, hoping that his son would not recognise the taste.

He hadn’t noticed the last time, but now that he was more aware of his surroundings he could feel the magic wards his son had placed on the door to prevent any intruders from entering. Light footsteps were heard, getting progressively louder, as Loki approached the metal door. “Who is it?” he asked through the door.

His son should most certainly know who it was, it was doubtful that he expected anyone else. And besides that, he had felt him reaching out with his seidr, sensing for his identity or some sort of trap. “I’m Oscar!” he said in as much of a cheerful tone as he could muster. “And I bring dinner.”

The door opened. “Ah. Well, please do come in.” he said curtly. _Where is the polite young man that my diplomats used to praise_?

Odin followed him inside. He didn’t know how he expected his son’s apartment to be, but whatever he imagined, that was not it. Everything he glimpsed at looked like something that could be found in a regular midgardian house. The furnature was plain. It lacked the personal touch of his son’s old chambers or any of the unusual trinkets his son loved to gather like a magpie collects any shiny objects that catch its attention. Maybe there were some in the locked rooms, it wouldn’t do to leave them exposed for the midgardian guest to find. There were many books though, and that remenant of Loki’s old self made relief rush through him. He tingled with hope. Perhaps his son was not as far gone as he feared.

Loki led him to a small but well-lit kitchen. “You can place the food here.” he stated, gesturing at the table. “What did you bring?” he asked, bringing his hands in front of him and lacing his fingers together, in a way that reminded Odin of Frigga.

“We shall eat soup.” Loki looked at him weirdly, but proceeded to turn around, pull out two bowls from the kitchen cabinet and lay them on the table along with the cutlery. Odin realised that despite the carefree attitude his son displayed, there was tension hidden in the lines around his eyes and his posture was rigid.

They sat down on the table. “Allow me to serve up.” Odin spoke up, as if that would help him be heard over the defeaning silence. He pulled the metal container of the soup out of the bag and opened it. He felt his son use his seidr to search the soup, testing it for poison. _It seems he trusts me even less than I imagined._

They began eating in uncomfortable silence. Odin tried and failed several times to find a safe subject for conversation. In the end he settled for a question that could only be answered with lies from his son, but was nonetheless inconspicuous enough to not draw any suspicion. “So Lucas, where are you from?”

“I’m from Britain.”

Odin waited, but his son seemed unwilling to elaborate further. “What about you?” Loki asked in the end, after some more awkward time had elapsed.

Now it was time to spin the tale that he had crafted with Frigga. “I lived most of my life in Norway, but I recently moved in here.” he said cautiously.

“Ah. I see. Was there a specific reason for you moving here?”

“I was hired here.”

“And what is your occupation?”

“I work at a museum as a researcher. I handle and study odd or unusual artefacts.”

Loki stopped fiddling around with his food, sat up and leaned forward in poorly disguised interest. It was almost comical. Knowing his youngest, it was only so obvious because he didn’t care enough to hide it. Odin barely concealed a grin. He had managed to draw his attention.

“Do you enjoy the food?”

“It’s fine.” Loki said in a unimpressed voice, like he had spotted his attempt at changing the subject. Then his eyes glinted dangerously, despite the faux innocent expression he was wearing. “Have you ever heard about the Eye of Agamotto?”

Of course Odin had heard of it. It contained an Infinity Stone. What did his son plan to do with an Infinity Stone? “I’ve heard of it.” he said slowly, unsure.

“It is said that it is here, in New York. I was just wondering if you had the chance to work with it, considering your profession.”

“I didn’t imagine you would be that excited about my field of expertise. Most people consider it rather dull. ” he said, a last ditch attempt at derailing the conversation.

His son regarded him with something approaching, but not quite, wide-eyed innocence. “I am something of an archeology enthusiast, if I would say so myself. In fact, I have in my lifetime retrieved and studied many artefacts, ones that someone could call… extraordinary.”

Odin didn’t know what to answer to that. “How come so?”

Loki cocked his eyebrow and smirked in a painfully familiar expression. “You could say that I am an amateur archeologist myself. Now, have you by any chance encounter this artefact?”

Odin knew very intimately the horrific potential for destruction that was an intrinsic quality of the Infinity Stones. Therefore, for the safety of the Nine Realms and his own peace of mind, he monitored closely the location of each and every Infinity Stone. And so he knew that the Eye of Agamotto was indeed located on New York. On the Sanctum Santorum if he wanted to be exacted. But sharing this information with Loki didn’t seem like a great idea. Although it could lead his son to trust him more. But was his son’s trust worth the risk of him using the Time Stone in his next hare-brained scheme? Before his mind caught up with his mouth he had already spoke.

“It is indeed here.” Odin said. Loki smirked, a slightly maniacal grin. “I had worked with it when I was younger.” _That is only half a lie_. “The Eye of Agamotto is on the Sanctum Sanctorum.”

His son looked immensly pleased with himself. “Well that had been not half as bad as I expected. We could do it again. Now if you’ll excuse me I have business to attend to.”

~

When a few days later there were news of a break-in in Sanctum Sanctorum and a subsequent theft of a priceless relic, Odin was not surprised. What did surprised him however, was the lack of mayhem on the days following the theft.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> I know it's been a long time, but here I am with a brand new chapter! I hope you enjoy it!  
> The truth is I don't know when the next one will be up, I have the general idea of where this is going, but the details are a bit more difficult to imagine. If anyone would be interested in beta-reading this, or help with the process in general, I would be delighted!

The next weeks that followed there was a gradual (if only slight) improvement in Odin’s relationship with his son, as well as a growing uneasiness in his relationship with Frigga. Although he hadn’t dared to tell her about his -practically- handing Loki an Infinity Stone on a silver platter, she must have sensed that he kept something from her, which resulted in a renewed distance between them. Despite the sadness caused by his wife’s colder than usual demeanour, he was too engrossed in the progress he made with his son to notice much else. Odin spent almost every moment of his admittedly little spare time on Midgard. This allowed him the opportunity to both closely monitor Loki for any signs of hatching a scheme -which now can include the Time Stone- and of course the opportunity to bump into his son when he deigned to use the hallways instead of instantly teleporting to his destination (probably because if he never seemed to use them, it would appear suspicious to the mortals). Thankfully, now that he had proven himself to be a useful source of information, Loki seemed to at least try and keep a more polite facade during their conversions, and, this week in particular, he even accepted an invitation to Oscar’s place. Granted, Loki probably just stood to gain more by maintaining something that could only be loosely described as friendship with him, but Odin was nonetheless pleased. A small part of him hoped that Loki found the company of an other being, even if it were just a lowly mortal, as a balm to his loneliness.

~

Odin looked at the clock on the wall for what was the ninth time in the last ten minutes. His son was nearly an hour late. A mix of uneasiness and worry settled in his stomach. There are many possible explanations for why he is late, he reasoned with himself. Still, he decided to go to Loki’s apartment and check.

The hallway that led to his son’s flat was poorly lit. Long shadows were cast by the pale electric light sources that the mortals seemed to favour. He paced quickly, willing his legs to carry him there faster. When he arrived, he almost banged on the door. “Lucas! Is everything alright?”

He received no answer. Several minutes passed and he was about to leave, when he heard a dull thud, followed by a faint howl. Someone was in the apartment. But no ordinary mortal could have bypassed Loki’s defences. 

Odin didn’t even think about it. He placed his hand on the door and he shredded his son’s wards, without bothering to unravel their threads carefully, setting off an intricately designed alarm in the process. Loki may well be one of strongest mages in his generation, but Odin had the might of Asgard at his side.

The moment the door opened, Odin noticed muddy shoeprints on the floor, along with… Is that blood? It was blood indeed, a small puddle of it along with a bloody handprint on the wall. He felt his heart hammering in his chest as he followed the trail. As he moved towards the living room, he could hear someone breathing raggedly.

Turning around the corner, he found his son, half-curled on his side near the wall. His hand was wrapped around his stomach, nearly hiding from sight a nasty wound. He felt his anger flare, who would dare wound my son, so? 

But, once he entered Loki’s field of vision, a green blast was launched towards him. His warrior’s instincts, rusty as they were, kicked in, narrowly avoiding the magic missile, by falling on the floor and crouching.

Loki stared at him, a look of confusion mingled with suspicion marring his face. “Oscar? How did you get in here?”

He couldn’t think of a good excuse for this, but even if he could, there wasn’t any time for it. Deliberating over, he let the guise melt and revealed his true face. Loki’s relatively open expression shuttered. Before it closed off completely, Odin caught a glimpse of betrayal that made his heart ache. He heard Loki hiss as if burned. “Allfather” he snarled. The reaction stung, even though it was expected and maybe a little justified. He did lie to him after all. Again. 

“Calm yourself. I only want to help you.” He moved a step forward and in response, Loki crawled backwards, half a step until his back hit the wall, assuming a defensive position, one hand cradling his stomach, one extended with green seidr fizzling out on his fingertips. 

Loki looked up to him defiantly, but despite the brave front he was putting on, there was a hint of fear in his eyes. It pierced Odin’s heart to see the boy he once cradled in his arms, fearful of him. How did it come to this? 

“I highly doubt that. What have you been trying to accomplish, disguising yourself as a stranger, and inserting yourself in my life? What did you hope to achieve? Getting me to lower my guard, did you wait for the right moment to kill me? Come on then, finish their job for them!” Loki’s voice started out soft, gradually building up to a scream. 

Odin heard himself make a low, wounded sound. “I would never hurt you!” Even as he said that he knew he was lying, because he had hurt him hadn’t he? He just didn’t understand it, not until it was too late.

Loki just stared him stunned for a couple of seconds and then he stared to laugh. The bitter, broken sound that echoed across the room was horrible to hear. Soon, it turned into a hacking cough that brought blood on his lips. The powerful coughs shook his body and he screwed his eyes shut as if in pain. If nothing else that spurred Odin on action. He kneeled beside Loki, taking him by surprise, and put his hands on his temples. Loki flinched, but before he had time to react, Odin had already muttered the spell that would put him to sleep. It would be for the best, if he was asleep for what came next, Odin told himself. 

Healing magic had never been his strong suit. As a young man he used to scorn the healing arts, thinking them beneath him, but as he grew older and wiser he came to appreciate the important role they play. He had the basic training that every warrior had to have in order to offer some help to a wounded brother (or in some cases sister) in arms. And although he was far from a healer, he still had knowledge of a few applications of seidr in healing. Thankfully, despite the severe nature of Loki’s wound, it was far from lethal. All Odin needed do was mumble some incantations that would help the flesh knit faster and let Loki’s natural healing take over. Unfortunately, this sort of healing spell was quite painful for the person it was casted upon and usually was administrated after some sort of sedative was used. Still, thankfully, Loki was deeply unconscious, not even twitching as the spell took effect, remaining blissfully unaware of the pain.

Odin transferred the still unconscious Loki to the sofa, careful so as to not aggravate his injury. Then, he proceeded to close the door of the apartment, secure it as best as he could, and cast protective wards all over the flat, to prevent whoever had attacked his son in the first place from coming in and finishing what they started, all the while wondering who was that had done that. Loki was strong, he wasn’t easily overpowered and most mortals would pose no threat to him. Afterwards, he sat at the plush chair opposite to the couch, feeling spent and stared at his son too still form. In his sleep, face slack, he looked dreadfully young. My boy, how did things come to this? How did I not notice your hurts, your discontent, until it was impossible to ignore? 

He and Loki had a lot to discuss when he finally did wake.

~

Loki’s wound had almost healed completely, when finally Odin’s spell wore off. Odin observed him silently as he came to it, eyes fluttering open. Sweat was beading on his forehead, as he gasped and clawed his way into wakefulness. It reminded Odin of when he was a child, turning and twisting in the grip of terrifying nightmares, which he vehemently refused to describe later. Odin longed to close the space between them, to offer him comfort, but he elected to give Loki some space.

Loki’s eyes skittered around the room as he seemingly took in his surroundings, frowning in confusion. His eyes stopped when they reached Odin, widening a hair, before his face twisted to a snarl. Whatever little hope Odin had that this encounter would be peaceful, was dashed into pieces. 

Loki pushed himself up on trembling hands. “Allfather” he said, voice still weak but dripping with poison nonetheless, “do you think the Nine Realms will praise your wisdom, when they learn you not only did not kill your enemy, but you kept him alive?”

“I am certain that they would praise me even less if I they learnt that I murdered my own son.” Odin replied, keeping his voice calm.

“Is this why you allowed me to live, then? To serve as a reminder of your magnanimity?”

Odin completely ignored the question. “Who hurt you?”

Loki let out a derisive snort. “As if you care!”

“My son, I-”

“Don’t call me that! It never mattered to you before, so why should it matter to me now that I know as well that it is a lie!” 

Although Odin was expecting this belligerent behaviour from Loki, it still frustrated him. “What do you mean it never mattered before? And it is not a lie-”

“Is it not?” Loki’s voice was climbing higher and higher, both in volume and in pitch, sounding almost hysterical. “But of course, who shall define the truth if not the great Allfather! It doesn’t matter if he stole me from the land of monsters, and lied about it for a thousand years-”

“This does not justify your actions, Loki. What about the havoc you wreak on innocent mortals? All these deaths! Does it fill some void deep inside you, make you feel powerful, content?”

“I am not content. Never will be, either. And if I ever was, for some elusive moments, it is so far back in the past that I cannot even remember what it felt like. Back then, all I was ever after was your approval, a task so pointless, that I might as well be a hound chasing its own tail! You only ever saw your beloved Thor, and whatever I did, I never could escape his shadow! Well at least a thousand years of lying later, you finally had the courtesy to inform me why! Not even the magnanimous Allfather could ever love a Jotun monster, the spawn of his greatest enemy! The only thing I ever was to you was just another stolen relic, to keep as long as was useful, and throw away when its usefulness expired... Not even a pawn for your plans, but a thing, a soulless monster hiding under false Aesir skin... ”

Loki’s arms gave out, and he just laid there on the couch, panting, having exhaust himself both emotionally and physically. “What do you want from me?” he asked in the end, his voice quivering near the end. 

It was heart-breaking, Odin thought, how much his son had suffered, without him or anyone else noticing. Perhaps even worse was his inability to see himself as something other than the monster he had convinced himself he was. But that was, at least partly, Odin’s fault. Surely he could not stop people from calling the Jotnar monsters, but he could have at least explained afterwards to his children that it wasn’t true. He hadn’t think that it would ever matter, but that didn’t mean he was absolved. 

“You are not a monster... I never meant for you to think yourself as such. But it seems I have failed you, and for that I am truly sorry. If you allow me, I will help you. That is all I want from you.”

Loki looked taken aback by the admission of wrong-doing on his part. “An apology does not make everything alright.” he said at last.

“Perhaps not.” Odin allowed. “But it can be a beginning. Let me help you.” He almost pleaded.

Loki regarded him, eyes narrowed with suspicion, but he did not seem particularly keen on continuing the discussion. His eyes fluttered like he was barely able to keep them open.

Odin sighed. “Take your time to think about it. We can continue this talk after you get some rest.”

Loki hesitated but then nodded. Sleep claimed him almost immediately. Odin wasn’t at all surprised. Healing from a serious wound was taxing. He himself was exhausted after all, and all he had done was cast a few spells. Of course he was bearing the burden of age, that made this kind of thing more difficult. He let himself be lulled to sleep by the steady sound of Loki’s breathing.

When Odin woke up, the sofa was empty. He didn’t need to check the rest of the apartment to know that his son was nowhere to be found.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> This chapter took some aeons to be finished and still I am not completely happy with the result. I am not certain that this was the direction best for the story to go. Still I hope you'll enjoy it. As always kudos and comments are appreciated. I'll try to finish the next chapter by February, but I'm not making any promises, since I am not sure if I'll be able to keep them.

Things were demonstrably not going Odin’s way. Of course he had searched Loki’s flat meticulously for any sign of where Loki headed of, and -unsurprisingly- found none. Loki seemed to have left everything he owned behind, and despite not feeling particularly optimistic, Odin had decided to keep an eye on the apartment, in case Loki reappeared to take any of his stuff to wherever he went. Not at all surprisingly, this did not yield the desirable result. In fact, Odin was almost certain that his son would have returned, had he not sensed Odin’s wards around the place. But Odin could not help himself. To keep his sanity he must have made sure that he took every possible measure to find Loki. Loki, who had been severely wounded last he saw him, refusing to disclose any information about his attacker. Who would probably be still alive and out there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for an opportune moment to finish what he started... Loki was by no means defenceless, but still...

Then there was Thor. Odin didn’t know if he had made anything of his father’s rather mysterious disappearances, but as it seemed he wouldn’t confront Odin about them. If Odin had managed even a bit better with Loki, he would not have hesitated sharing the truth with his oldest, but as it was, he feared that his most recent failure would only drive the wedge deeper in their already fractured bonds.

And of course Frigga noted that his absences, were greatly decreased in frequency. Odin knew that she would most certainly confront him about that sooner rather than later.

* * *

  
One afternoon, he returned in his chambers only to find her awaiting him, sitting at the wooden, carved table -where they used to dine when there was just the two of them and later when their boys where still young- along with tea and biscuits. 

“Husband.” She greeted him, though her tone lacked any warmth. At his somewhat crestfallen expression, she raised an eyebrow. “I hope you did not believe you could avoid me forever.”

“I wasn’t avoiding you. There were a lot of things that needed to be done.” He lied, though he did not know why he bothered. She knew him all too well for such deceit to bear fruits. 

Frigga sighed audibly. “There’s no need for lying Odin. I am not here to chastise you for that. I am here to learn what happened to our son and why you have stopped going to Midgard.”

It had been too long since Frigga, his one and only trusted confidant, was so willing to lend an ear. Still, Odin hesitated. Even though he wanted nothing more than to unburden his soul, to share his fears and frustrations, he didn’t want to upset Frigga. Or anger her. Her temper, though well-restrained, was fearsome. And perhaps a part of him thought it would be for the best to keep his failures secret. Nonetheless, he knew that if he kept his silence, things would only fester, both between him and his wife and between him and Loki, even though he may have lost his chance to make things right with him once and for all.

So Odin opened his mouth and spoke. 

Frigga’s expressions varied wildly during his retelling. From interest and amusement to outrage and anger, though she was controlled enough not to express it in any other way. The most prominent by far though was the horror at his description of finding Loki hurt. 

“Who did this? Who hurt my child?” she asked him, her eyes glassy, brimming with tears, but her voice trembling with anger.

Odin longed to reach for her and wipe the tear-tracks from her face. Instead he averted his gaze and shook his head “I don’t know. When I tried to ask he shut me down.”

She nodded, wiping her face with her handkerchief. “We can do nothing. We have to wait for him to reach out. And trust that he is safe in the meantime.”

* * *

  
After Frigga left, Odin returned to his paperwork. Burying himself to work was something he always did when he needed a respite from his thoughts. However, once he entered the study he registered something... different. Someone have been there, and put a spell that was activated the moment Odin walked through the door. Their seidr felt oddly familiar. And then he saw. At his desk, on top of a treaty with Alfheim that he intended to study, there was an unusual envelope, sealed with green wax. That moment the pieces of the puzzle fell together. _Loki_. His heartrate picked up, from excitement or dread he couldn’t tell. 

His hand would have trembled, had Odin not been so used at controlling his emotions, as he took hold of the letter with one shift but careful motion. _Hyde Park, Today, 7:00 am,_ it read in the neat, elegant hand-writing of his son. The ink used was green-black and had an almost iridescent quality about it. As soon as Odin set the letter down on his desk, it dissipated into mist. He smiled. His son always had a flair for the dramatic. 

Perhaps the fact that Loki could slip into Asgard at a whim ought to be alarming, for if he was able that would mean that there holes in its defences that someone could potentially exploit, but Odin could not help but feel relief at the undeniable proof that his son, if nothing else, was alive and well enough to pull such a trick.

Tentatively hope began to bloom in his heart. Loki deciding to reach out must be a good thing. Even if a darker part of him wondered if, considering the state of their relationship, dire circumstances had compelled Loki to come in contact with him. 

* * *

Odin once again left Asgard in the dead of night. He left a rather short note for Frigga and he would have talked to her himself had he had the time. This time he didn’t bother disguising himself, except for adding a glamour of midgardian clothes. When he worldwalked, he choose the branch of Yggdrasil that lead to London. Odin surfaced in an alley about fifteen minutes away from Hyde Park.

It was a crisp spring morning and the walk to the park was quite peaceful, probably due to the early hour. Some mortals were already on the streets, going about their daily business. It was about quarter to seven when he finally arrived to the park, giving him some time to wonder. There were some beautiful rose gardens, as well as a lake with waterfowl, some of which he did not recognise. They were probably part of the local midgardian fauna. Particularly, the peculiar white ones with the long necks he did not recall seeing at any point in his extensive trips to other realms. Through his wanderings he ended up at a kiosk near the lake, and was pondering whether he should fake whatever currency the mortals used to buy some sort of hot beverage, if for naught else then to stop his hands from freezing, when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“You came.” Greeted his son flatly. There was something in the undertone of his voice he could not quite recognise.

Odin took a moment to examine him. He looked rather well, if you consider how he was last time Odin saw him. The colour had returned to his face, and if he seemed worn and thin, Odin could reassure himself that these were only temporary due to his recently received wound. Otherwise, he was well-dressed as always, holding in his hands a styrofoam cup, the hot liquid steaming. “Did you expect differently?”

Loki sighed. “I was... uncertain whether you would heed my call.”

“Well, I came.” Said Odin, feeling distinctly awkward. He was unsure of what to do. His son had asked him here, but he didn’t seem forthcoming about the reason. Should he prod at him? Or would that just push him further away? Perhaps he ought to reassure him that he made the right decision, but sentiment never came easily to Odin. “You did well to ask me to come.”

“That remains to be seen.”

Now it was Odin’s turn to sigh. “I told you. I only wish to aid you.”

“You also told me that I was Aesir and your son. None of it turned out to be true. I am supposed to be the god of lies and yet, it seems as though you have far surpassed me in what the mortals consider to be my field of expertise. It feels as though my entire existence is nothing more than an elaborate series of lies and when I finally slip away from other people’s control, they only seek to regain their hold over me. I can only guess that was the reason for your most recent ruse. Do you truly blame me for not taking you at your word?”

“I did none of these things with ill intend. But know that you are still my son for I am still your father. I understand that I broke your trust and I will do what I can to regain it.”

Loki remained silent, his expression stoic. Odin could tell he had not convinced him. “Who hurt you?” asked Odin again, because he had to know. 

Loki’s gaze turned distant. “That is none of your concern.”

“Is it not? Were you not the boy whose fears I soothed and whose hurts I healed? I remember spending long nights beside you, when you were too young to remember, as you turned and twisted in the throws of fevers, without knowing whether you would live or die. And then when you let go- I don’t want to lose you. Not again. Never again.”

Loki’s gaze remained stubbornly averted. But still he spoke. “The Scourge of the Nine Realms. Death’s Lover. The Mad Titan. Thanos. Or his _children_ as he calls them, to be more exact.” 

_No. It was nigh impossible_. Odin himself had vanquished him and banished him from the Nine. But then again that was a long time ago. And then it occurred to him. Crevices between the realms, such as the Void, were he had no authority over and could not prevent anything. Who knew how far his son had fallen, in the dark depths of space and what horrors he encountered there? How much had he suffered alone, hopeless, without succour? Odin gazed upon Loki now and in spite of his son’s best efforts, he could see his fear. 

Loki seemed to read his lack of response as something else entirely and chuckled bitterly. “Now you truly see me, _father_ , in all my hideous glory. I’ve not only struck a bargain with the devil, but failed to hold up my end of the deal too. Will you claim me now, as something other than an unworthy failure, or will you admit to yourself that you failed to whatever scheme you had in mind and cast me off unto the darkness once more?”

“What bargain did you make?” Odin asked although he dreaded the answer.

Loki smirked nastily. “Why, Midgard in exchange for the Tesseract, of course. Don’t pretend you didn’t know, you didn’t _see_.”

Odin’s stomach sank. “See what?” He had the feeling that this was about to get a lot worse.

“What I’ve gone through to temper me. To make me more _agreeable_ , more _amenable_ to the Titan’s causes.” 

His heart clenched in his chest. His own son thought... “There are places that even Heimdall cannot see. The Void is one of them. You know this. Whatever you’ve gone through, I didn’t know-”

“I don’t believe you.”

“But if that is the case, why did you call me here in the first place.”

“I am not certain.” A pregnant pause followed. Then something in Loki’s expression shifted and he looked impossibly young and vulnerable. “Perhaps I’d hoped... that what your offer for help was genuine. Or that you wouldn’t come at all, your false kindness exposed for what it truly was, and then I would hate you all the more for it. ” 

It wasn’t often that Odin Allfather begged. But then again it wasn’t often that his family’s well being was at stake. “It was- is genuine. I _want_ to help. Please, let me.”

“So solicitous now Allfather-” How Odin hated hearing his youngest’ lips curling around his name in disgust. Loki cut himself off, taking a deep breath. “If you’ll provide your help freely, I am willing to take you up on the offer.”

Odin breathed a sigh of relief. “All is well. We can go to Asgard, you will be safe there-”

“You misunderstood me. I am not going back to Asgard, to be held as if I were a bird in a gilded cage. If you are to help me you will do so on my terms.”

“And what are your terms?”

“The Titan. He searches for the infinity stones, to what end I know not.” Odin’s blood ran cold. The Eye of Agamotto. Was this why Loki had wanted it? “If we are to defeat him, we have to find them before he does.”

A suspicion formed in Odin’s mind. He didn’t want to believe it, but he ought to consider it. “Loki... how can I know that you don’t need the Infinity Stones for your own purposes?”

“You can’t know that. What reassurance can I give to you that you won’t have reason to doubt? I guess you’ll just have to trust me.” The last sentence was spoken with such faux innocence, that gave away that Loki was all too aware of the irony.

“I will help you. I want to. But the Stones should be kept in Asgard, until we have need for them. They will be safer there.” _From Thanos, but also from you._

Loki must have agreed with him, or else be truly desperate because he nodded his acquiescence immediately. “It is for the best not to keep all the Infinity Stones to close proximity with each other. I have the Time Stone safeguarded.”

“Alright. We already have two of them. The Power Stone is on Xandar. The Mind Stone is on Midgard. The Reality Stone’s location is unknown, since it was supposedly destroyed by my father, Bor. The Soul Stone has been lost for aeons.”

“Perhaps it would be best to begin with one on Midgard. It will be the easiest.” He paused for a moment. “I have business to attend to.” Loki’s voice turned cold. “The fact that I need your help doesn’t change anything between us Allfather.”

“I understand.” _But I am not going to give up._ Loki disappeared and Odin’s gaze returned to the lake.

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think?


End file.
